When I was little, I was in between being a team leader, and having the worst sportsmanship ever. While I led my teams in "repeat after me" cheering, I also kicked sand, threw my glove, or checked girls into the boards when things didn't go my way. I was pulled off the court, diamond, field, and ice many times over the years due to my poor sportsmanship. I would either get angry with my teammates for "sucking" or I would get into an altercation with the opposing team or refs.
In my early years of boxing, I remember thinking "This is the best sport ever!" I was the only one controlling the outcome (or so I thought). Throughout my amateur boxing career, I took home many gold medals, trophies, and best fighter awards. Losing was not an option, but was inevitable. I had over fifty fights, and lost a total of 9 fights.
At the end of my amateur career, I took three losses in a row. I remember being in the ring, aware that I was losing, and thinking, "I don't even care. Hurry up, and be over." I was mentally broken, and training with a heavy heart due to a toxic relationship that led me down a dark path. It wouldn't be until my third professional fight that I started to recognize a shift in my mentality, and confidence.
Throughout the last decade, boxing was a way for me to stay sane. It was one of the only things in life I had control over. It was one of the only things in life that made me feel alive. I valued what the sport had done for me, and there was no way anybody was going to take it away from me.
It seemed as though my relationship was taking pieces of me, but it was never going to take away boxing. Even if I was losing my fights, I was still in the ring, doing what I loved. Even in my last three fights as an amateur, I was proud of myself for training through tough times, and getting in the ring despite them.
I spent so many years feeling alone in this sport. Yes, I was working with coaches, and other boxers, but I did a lot of my training alone. I would never take anything away from the coaches who worked with me along the way, but I can say that I was never given the time and dedication combined until December of 2018. That's when everything changed.
I spent two years at a boxing club that became my home. In December 2018, for reasons I do not wish to discuss, I left. It devastated me. I would not admit how crushed I was to those around me, but I suffered (more than I let on) in silence.
My character, my name, and my dignity took a beating when I left. That's when my now coach took me under his wing and led me down a path that I will forever be grateful for. I did not know it then, but our time together would lead to confidence, success, teamwork, and loyalty. Most importantly, it led to a strong friendship.
I spent a lot of my time rebuilding myself in the gym, and outside of the gym. I dedicated my time to being a better Mother, friend, boxer and coach. I started coaching at Hamilton Fitness Academy, and I began to notice positive changes in all areas of my life. The more I surrounded myself with positive people, the stronger I felt inside. The more time I gave to ot