Mother's Day Reflection

Being a Mom has brought me so much joy over the last twelve years, but has also struck me with a lot of guilt, shame, and sorrow.

I was so good with babies, even as a child. When babies were around, you'd likely find me holding him/her. I had my first babysitting gig at twelve years old, and continued taking babysitting jobs well into my high school years. Taking care was built into me. It's part of my nature.

Being pregnant at eighteen was exciting. I was looking forward to having a little baby of my own. I spent a lot of my pregnant days imagining taking care of my baby, and I was sure I'd be a great Mom.

Taking care of others, and taking care of yourself couldn't be more different.

Taking care of others comes easy to me. Taking care of myself seemed to be life's most difficult task for many years. If I had realized this sooner, then maybe I would've done things differently.

The relationship I have with my son is incredible. I couldn't be more proud of the boy he is today. He is kind, compassionate, funny, daring, imaginative, smart, athletic, and wise beyond his years.

I ask myself often, "Would I change the past, and parent differently?"