How To Master True Happiness

Being on vacation has a whole new vibe for me at thirty one years old. My mind has grown, my spirit feels free, and my heart is full.

Twenty nine year old Kylie had her awakening on vacation in 2018.

Let me pull a piece of my journal out from my thirtieth birthday vacation in Dominican Republic.

“Coaching women, and children the sport I love most gives me happiness. Painting pictures for children makes me happy. Spending time mentoring others brings happiness to my life. Singing for others brings me so much joy. I love connecting with an audience. The loud cheering in the crowd when I’m fighting fills me with gratitude and appreciation.

I can’t afford my rent.

I almost lost my car insurance.

I am being pushed out of coaching women’s boxing.

I am leaving my toxic relationship for good. I just can’t be in that anymore. It’s killing me slowly.

I feel like I’m losing absolutely everything. It hurts. I’m going to be thirty, and I feel terrified. I’m full of anger, sadness, anxiety, and pain.”

Without those moments from my past, I would not be where I am today. Pain is what taught me true strength.

When life gets hard, you have two choices. You can choose to remain in turmoil, or you can choose to overcome it.

Here is three pieces of advice I could offer to those who are suffering inside:

1. There’s no shame in seeking professional help. Without my therapist, I wouldn’t have all the tools I have today to overcome life’s hardships. Life will always throw challenges your way. Without the tools, and proper mindset, you will struggle to overcome them.

2. Without self love, you will never find true love. This one is kind of cliche, because we hear “you cannot love another if you do not love yourself”. But how many people actually understand this? We say we do, yet we are in toxic relationships. Mark my words... If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you have not mastered self love.

3. You will not find true happiness without finding your true passions in life. Do not be an extension of others. Find what makes your heart dance with happiness. Something that is for your soul. No matter how silly people think I am, nobody can ever take away my love for singing. I will forever sing in a room, all by myself, and feel full. It is my happy place. And that’s just one of them. You can have more than one.

Reading back on my thirtieth birthday brings me a sense of power, and pride. I am confident that the pain I felt then is no longer. I was broke, and broken at that time. I had no choice but to fight against the pain, and find happiness. I had some of my own tools, but I chose to reach out to the God, and ask for help.

I remember laying in my hotel room, and saying “God. I surrender. I can’t do this no more. I need you.” And that’s all I needed to say. From that moment on, my mindset shifted in a way that only a true believer in God could understand. It was powerful, and beautiful. Things started to line up, and I slowly found the help I needed. Do you need to believe in God to find the power of healing? Maybe. But I don’t think so. That is Just how I found mine.

As I continued to follow the path laid in front of me, I began to trust in a way I had never known. It’s almost like my heart knew the answers. The more I listened to my heart, the more powerful the answers became.

Fast forward to now. I want to take a moment to write from my heart about where I am now.

I now own a boxing studio, and I am able to continue my happiness through coaching others.

I have competed in the professional boxing world, and although I have won all my fights, it wasn’t the wins that gave me the feeling of success.

It was the hard work that gave me knowledge to pass on to others. It was the dedication that taught me what my body and mind is capable of. It was the strength to get through the hard days that gave me the ultimate strength to pass on to others. If I can push myself the way I do, anybody can. It’s all a mindset.

I am now in love with a man in a way that I have never been before. This kind of love is the love many will seek their entire lives. It’s the kind of love that I have always dreamed about. It comes with problems that are solved with respect. It comes with dull times that can easily be relit with something as simple as showing the other appreciation or an act of kindness.

Although I have only been at this for just over a year, I have learned to live in each moment, and allow myself to bask in the highs, and practise patience in the lows. No relationship will ever be perfect, but with the right attitude, you can get pretty damn close. I know that love is a long road, and there will be all different levels along the way. But I choose to stay in the now with the confidence of forever.

When you’re willing to learn what makes the other happy, and you’re willing to meet in the middle, you can find a balance that creates a feeling of satisfaction, comfort, and happiness. How do I know this? Because I am practising it everyday. It’s working thus far.

They say practise makes perfect in sports. This also applies to love. You’re allowed to make mistakes just like in sports. You will find yourself in hard times with your partner, and you will certainly not get along every single day, but if you focus on patience and respect, you’ll get better and better. Love grows when you’re constantly learning from your relationship.

If we use sports as a metaphor to love, then let’s imagine how a game is played.

Sometimes we lose.

Sometimes the play doesn’t go as planned.

Sometimes we fail to meet the expectations of the game.

But if you’ve ever played sports, you know that it’s the mistakes that help us grow as an athlete, or as a team.

If you take the loss back to the drawing board, you can figure out a plan that works better for next time. Getting angry would only earn you another loss.

I’ve learned the most from my losses in boxing. Therefore I have opened my mind to the downs in my relationship, and applying the same rules as the sport I know best. There’s no need to fight over the small stuff. What’s important is that we go back to the drawing board, and figure out what works best.

I absolutely love the growth within myself. As I get older, I learn more and more about how life can be beautiful. I’ve seen the darkest days, and without those days, I wouldn’t be here. Without my struggles, I wouldn’t be able to be apart of helping others how to overcome theirs.

Money has never been a problem for me. I have always felt blessed to have my son, my family, my friends and my dogs. When I had nothing, I continued to hold onto the things that cost nothing, and gave me the strength to continue.

My motto has always been “Worry less about money, and more about helping others. The money will come when it’s time. Be grateful for who you have.” I always knew that no matter what, my family would take care of me. That feeling of comfort got me through my poorest days.

I can confidently say that money still means nothing to me. It’s nice not having to worry that my fridge is empty, and my rent is paid, but I believe I will never value money the way that many do. Money should be the least of our worries.

I am in a place of happiness. I trust in my path. I feel protected by God every single day. I do not fear failure, because even if it happens, there’s a lesson to be learned in that failure.

God will hand you the same cards until you learn from each hand. He will only give you what you can handle, and if you’re willing to listen to the messages, you will allow yourself to walk on the path of greatness. That’s where I am now, and I couldn’t be happier in life.

I am no longer terrified. I am comforted. I no longer feel hurt. I feel healed. I no longer feel empty. I feel full. And all I want to do is give what I have learned to others who feel like I once did. Because if I can get out of it, you can too.

One last tip before I go. Treat your body right. Give your body the exercise it needs, and the nutritious food it requires. If you can do these two things, your positive vibes will flow stronger, your thoughts become clearer, and your mental and physical health will thank you.

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