Twelve years have passed since I gave birth to my first born. Everything seemed too easy at that time. Getting pregnant was an “oopsie” moment, being pregnant was nowhere near the experience I am having now, and getting back to my original size after his birth was seemingly easy as I look back.
Women all around me are having children, or trying to have children, and all I want to do is offer my own experience as a guide for those who may be struggling.
Getting pregnant is something many women will plan, and then end up feeling as though they are failing at something they thought would come easy, or would happen fairly quickly. When fate doesn’t offer us the plan that we had in our minds, it‘s easy to start questioning why it seems easy for so many others.
I know that many of you may feel bitter towards those eighteen year olds who snap their fingers and become pregnant. Or that couple who isn’t even trying and gets pregnant. How about that woman who becomes pregnant after a one night stand. It doesn’t seem fair when you are trying so hard!
What we need to understand is that getting pregnant is different for every woman. While some will get pregnant by just talking about it (not really), and others will take months, or years, we need to remember that each pregnancy journey is different. Lets not forget the women suffer through miscarriages, or other complications that hinder the chances of becoming a new Mommy. Those are the most heartbreaking.
If you are somebody struggling, please hold onto that faith. No matter what, there’s always a way to become a parent. As long as you’re not stealing your neighbours baby.
Getting pregnant in my thirties wasn’t as simple as I thought it was going to be. The only thing that saved me from being that woman who obsesses with my basal body temperate, and ovulation date’s was my partner who told me that it’ll happen when it happens. He continued to tell me for months that we will have a baby someday, but to let that day come on it’s own without obsessing.
The first few months, I allowed myself to be disappointed when my period came. I would swear that this was the month! I would walk around feeling every symptom in the book.
My boobs hurt.
I feel nauseous.
I feel pregnant.
I’m more moody than normal.
My period would come, and the let down was enough to put me into the blues for a day or two. I tried to shake it off as best as I could, but I couldn’t help but wonder why it wasn’t happening. We weren’t preventing it from happening, so why wasn’t it happening?
I slowly began to research things little by little to try to understand what reduces your chances of getting pregnant. One of the first things I learned through research is that caffeine decreases your chances of getting pregnant.
One of the first steps I took was cutting caffeine out. Lord knows I was a heavy caffeine drinker. Between my daily pre workouts, and energy drinks, I’d say I was a caffeine addict. That was the first thing to go.
The first week was awful. My workouts were lame, and I had a lingering headache. The second week became much brighter. I started to notice a significant energy increase, and felt strong during my workouts. I realized that quitting caffeine had become good for my health.
Not only did I quit caffeine, but I decided to hop back on board with the supplement train. After some research on what supplements I should be taking, I found that magnesium, b12, d3, fish oils, multi vitamins, vitamin c, and iron were common amongst most websites.
I also knew that I had suffered from adrenal fatigue in the past due to excessive exercise. Being a professional athlete calls for two a day training at high levels of endurance and stamina. This can cause adrenal fatigue, and is very common among elite athletes.
I started to notice the same symptoms of adrenal fatigue resurfacing. I chose to take an adrenal supplement, and follow the proper steps to restoring my adrenal glands. I read that it could take up to a year to restore. I knew this was essential to a healthier body. Forget about wanting to get pregnant. I was happy to take on the challenge simply to better my health.
It had now been a few months since making the necessary changes to becoming a healthier version of myself. I quit drinking caffeine, I started taking supplements daily as if it were clockwork, and I began to restore my adrenal glands by taking two capsules twice daily, aa well as improving my eating habits.
I continued to get a period despite my efforts.
I began to make more minor adjustments the more I read. I tried getting more sleep at night, and lost any interest in having alcohol. I remember the last time I drank was at my friends birthday. I had 2 ciders in the afternoon, and felt like a drunken mess. I went home and slept for hours. I decided that was it for me. My body has been done with alcohol for a year now. I become less and less interested as I get older.
One day my boyfriend said, “Do you think that maybe you over train?”
I responded with utter disgust “NO!”
I could feel the word “no” was built with denial. Deep down I knew I overtrained.
He then said, “So you think running 10km a day, lifting weights and boxing is normal?”
I knew he was right. I decided to pick one thing a day, and I cut my runs from 10km runs to easy 5km runs.
Another month or two went by, and I had finally stopped obsessing about what day of my cycle it was. I actually didn’t even know when my period was coming the day I found out I was pregnant. I just happened to check my period app and saw that I was one day late. My heart skipped a beat, but I refused to allow myself to feel that excitement I had felt in the past. The let down was too much. I was learning how to accept that when it happens, it happens.
Finding out I was pregnant is such a happy memory that I will never forget.
You can listen to my podcast to hear more about that.
I would say that getting pregnant wasn’t as hard as it may be for others. My heart goes out to those who have exhausted all options and have true difficulties getting pregnant. I know there are many out there who may never become pregnant, or spend a lot of money to assist in becoming pregnant. Again, my heart goes out to you.
I can say that it wasn’t as easy as I thought either.
If you are just beginning your journey to pregnancy, and haven’t had any luck, please make sure you try the basic things to being healthier.
A healthy body has more of a chance at getting pregnant than somebody who doesn’t take care of their health.
When you are in your late twenties, or thirties, your chances at getting pregnant unfortunately decrease. But then again, I personally know a woman who became pregnant at 48 years old. Hope is always there. Anything can happen!
If your chances decrease, wouldn’t you want to ensure your body is at its healthiest to increase your chances?
If you’re a smoker, quit.
If you’re a drinker, quit. Even if it’s just weekends.
If you eat terribly, stop. Get on a healthy diet.
If you have bad sleeping habits, learn to go to bed at the same time, and wake up at the same time. Sleep is a huge factor in your health.
If you don’t get enough supplements through food, do your research, and get on the supplement train.
If you’re obsessing, stop. You’re stressing your body out.
If you don’t exercise, start!
If you’re having sex just to get pregnant, find the romance again. This one may be an old wives tale, but true love can really help create a baby. I believe that!
If you’re a daily caffeine drinker, try your best to cut back.
If you’re in denial about your state of health, find your way out. Being honest with yourself is the only way you are going to be healthier.
If having a baby is something that is very important to you, then start being the parent you dream to be. Do this for your future baby. Take care of yourself. Being a healthy Mama is so much better than being an unhealthy Mama. Your baby needs a healthy vessel to grow inside of. Give your future baby the love he/she deserves. Start by taking care of yourself fully.
It may take a few months. It may take even longer than that. I’m not saying do it all at once, but atleast try to take the steps to becoming healthier. I promise you it’s the best thing you can do for yourself, and to create the space your future baby deserves to grow inside of.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me via email.